In Your Presence

Father I am waiting

I need to hear from You

To know that You're approving

of what I say and do

Cause nothing really satisfies

like when You speak my name

So tell me that You'll never leave

and everything will be okay

In Your presence, all fear is gone

in Your presence

In Your presence, is where I belong,

in Your presence

-Jason Upton, In Your Presence

Today I had some time to go the park and just sit- something I've been wanting to do for a while. I wish I had had more time, but hopefully some will open up later this week. This morning before class I listened to one of Ben Stuart's talks about James 1 and how we, as believers, are called to choose joy in the midst of trials. Being in a Christian school most of my life I have heard, studied and even taught this scripture several times. But today it really hit home for me as I listened to Ben explain what that looks like. It also made me look at how much joy I missed out on when I was sick. Obviously, those were not fun or happy times, but I could have been a lot more joyful in knowing that what I was going through was refining me and making me better in some way. I could have been a lot more joyful toward the nurses, my parents, friends etc who helped me get better, and there were times when I was able to show them gratitude. But I allowed my circumstances to rob me of satisfaction in Jesus on a lot of those days in the hospital. I started asking myself, what if this sickness never goes away- will you choose joy? That's a pretty tough question for me to think on and to answer. I am praying Jesus would graciously lead me there. I am also praying for continued healing so I may never have to answer that question :).

jkl

I was listening to Upton while I was sitting at the park and I've heard this song, In Your Presence, so many times. But today when he sang "nothing really satisfies like when you speak my name," that's exactly what I wanted my heart to look like. I want to feel completely satisfied when He says my name no matter what He is calling me to. He knows my name- how much more satisfaction could I want or need? I was able to journal about a lot of things today and just sit satisfied, knowing that He calls my name. Knowing this will help those seemingly joyless times feel like they can be joyful.

"I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High."- Psalm 9:1&2